I’ve spoken to a number of groups and churches over the last couple months about the need for young guys (20-30 yrs of age) to have a “coach” in their lives; someone to help them navigate the journey of manhood. As I share my story of how God placed a man in my life for that purpose, I can see the longing on many men’s faces. Their comments can be pretty revealing about their own experiences. “I wish I would have had someone like that in my life” or “there was a guy who spoke into my life when I was younger and it made a profound impact.”
As I explain what it looked like, and still looks like for me, I know that a name or face may have already come to their mind. Most realize that there already is someone they know who could use a coach. But the stumbling point for many is the same as it was for me. “How can I be an effective coach to someone when no one ever did that for me?”
Let me address that concern head on. You may have never had anyone coach you but you have been created to be a coach none the less. Fear of failure or fear of being found lacking are the primary reasons you feel that you can’t do it. Fear however, isn’t from God. Fear is from the enemy; the one who wants to keep you from becoming what the Creator designed you to be. As a man, one of God’s greatest desires for you is that you become a conduit of the way he loves you as your Father…your Abba. As you allow him to show you what this means and allow him to Father you, he will use you to pour that into a younger guy’s life. The key is not what you have had in the past; it’s what you have today. As you discover how Abba really fathers you, you will then be capable demonstrating that to someone else.
Remember that in order to “coach” well, you will need to be coached well. In order to father well, you will need to be fathered well. Not from a human perspective but from a heavenly perspective.
Lack of resource is another excuse not to fulfill your role as a coach. If you believe you don’t have enough time or money or connections to become someone’s coach then you never will. But you need to ask yourself if what you believe to be true really is true. In most cases concerns over resources and failure can be easily addressed and remedied. As you discover the truths our Heavenly Father has shown you, your beliefs will change. It isn’t what you say you believe that counts…it’s what you believe that counts.
As you learn who your Father really is and how he really expresses himself and reveals himself to you, you will be equipped to bring that into the life of someone you are coaching.